1 December 2000
Morning at home working in peace rapidly spoilt by everyone else in the office locking themselves out of the office and me with the only other keys. Oh, and the mail is down again.
Late night and 250 mini suns appear outside the window. The daughter of the flat one floor above next door is getting married and there’s now a waterfall of christmas lights flowing down to the ground from their balcony. Don’t know how they’re managing next door - it’s like trying to sleep next to a funfair which doesn’t shut down after 10pm.
2 December 2000
Try to catch up on sleep previously missed in November. Foiled again by wedding party blowing raspberries and making dog noises outside back door for their photographer.
About to throw away flyer in today’s mail, but realize in nick of time is electricity bill in its new ‘clearer’ style introduced last month. Ahh. I recognize this from last month when I threw it in the bin not realizing what it was—maybe Mrs Bajaj was correct after all.
Try restaurant in town - Beema’s - which serves Andhra food, or biryani as it’s otherwise known. Ask for bread as well resulting in five minute argument with waiter that I can have bread with rice without ‘gravy’ (accompanying curry) as well. Feel I have insulted him in the same way you insult an Italian asking for spaghetti and meatballs in the same sitting because there’s too much starch. No cutlery or crockery, just palm leaf, food and fingers. Haven’t eaten this way since I was six. Good food too.
3 December 2000
Workaholism stops today—only six hours in front of the screen.
Hari’s baby sister Shantala got married yesterday and am invited to the first of three receptions for her marriage. Normally only two but this is an inter-caste marriage—she’s Hindu and Neville is a Parsi—so there’s one extra for his family to host in Mumbai and anyone can attend instead of just Hindus. Reception apparently small—200 people tops—but really almost a general business meeting.
Hari is looking particularly hard-pressed. The responsibility of organising all the festivities has fallen to him but at least there are friends to fall back on and the odd half-dozen vodkas he’s knocked back. Anil Kumble turned up for a while - nice guy in person - but apparently Rahul Dravid is playing Zimbabwe so he can’t make it.
4 December 2000
Reception part 2 at Hari’s house. Fear that would not find Hari’s house soon quelled as realise he has built extension to the front of his house that actually blocks access down the street. Make plans to fly out for reception part three in Mumbai.
5 December 2000
Everyone is locked out again. Including me. And the guy who comes for an interview, which ends up down at the ice cream parlour. Reminiscent of October.
Weird ‘feature’ of Netscape 6 install. Ask to download it in UK English, and get it for Windows. Ask for US English, and get it in Windows, Mac or Linux. NN6 is ok in color, but not as good as in colour.
India TV has finally noticed Xmas - Die Hard is on. Really stupid cuts though. All nudity is cut (but F:TV is never censored - go figure) as are any instances of the word fuck. So Bruce Willis is loud and clear calling bad guys jerkweed or shithead but can’t say the trademark “Yippikai-ay motherfucker” at the end of the film. Love those double standards...
6 December 2000
Lost weekly game of TV roulette. The cable went off, fudged the channels again and lost BBC World. What am I supposed to watch for news now? CNN is in a state of Indecision 2000 and the Times of India doesn’t exactly cover world news with much alacrity.
Lunchtime ponderings - on what criteria would you judge the strays round here for Crufts India 2000? Spread of mange, number of broken legs, number of fleas, ability to jump up and knock you off your bike....
7 December 2000
Azharruddin and friends get life bans from cricket for match fixing while Manju’s mate retries the Wrox entrance test again and flunks it once more. On the plus side, we gain a new author agent and confirmation of Tony and Tim out to India after new year. We win I think.
8 December 2000
Go to Hari’s to fix his network for him. Find hub switched off and proxy server no longer running a proxy. That’ll be that then.
9 December 2000
Early flight delayed. Mr Dan on my tickets mispelt as Mr. Tan. So now I’m Mr. Brown on a late flight to Mumbai for the third part of a reception to a wedding that occurred seven days ago next to a hotel in which foeigner may not stay. And I have to wear a suit for the first time in three years as well. So this isn’t going to happen too many more times in my lifetime really, is it?
10 December 2000
Tried to eat worst approximation of full English breakfast ever made available on offer in a hotel restaurant. Only just managed the fried egg, but even the toast is grim, with all the texture of pre-chewed gum stuck under a desk for five days. Also, looks like everyone is suffering from the fish.
US Indecision 2000 spinning into buffoonery. First recounts are allowed, then they aren’t. Now we wait until Tuesday to find out which. Letterman has it right - the best thing about this is that neither Bush nor Gore are currently president. Imagine some Americans are saying ‘Cheque please’ and leaving before a pointless five year term begins in January.
11 December 2000
Seas of email and brand new afternoon snacks (Kachoudi - mini savoury fried filled doughnut) to overcome while trying to judge which sessions will fit together the best for BangLinux. Incredibly great feeling about the content - will blow last March’s event away, without a doubt.
Am returning home on Dec 20 via Jet Airways to Bombay. Yesterday, two Jet Airways pilots were grounded for bad flying and damaging their planes on landing. Can I change my mind about this?
Paper also notes Rajkumar is still alive on the front cover after an astounding three weeks of freedom. That’s nice. England wins test series against Pakistan for first time in 39 years. That’s even better.
12 December 2000
Bizarre story in Times of India - bloke can write with his ear and with his nose and also with both hands at the same time in different languages. Oh. And?
BangLinux.com awaits a server to be hosted on for third week and Taipei signs a sister-city agreement with a virtual community. Everyone in Taipei now has a virtual twin —sounds like the plot for a sci-fi movie.
The Hammer of Damocles (see Nov 29) was often used alongside his sword in Catch 22 situations where the incumbent had Hobson’s Choice of a quick, clean or slow, messy conclusion. Would seem that Azhar has got the hammer. His tax bill is now also under investigation.
13 December 2000
Tried to switch my alarm clock off by throwing it at the wall for waking me at 3am only to realize that the phone is ringing and not it. Worse— also a wrong number.
Spent morning scaring new employee Nisheela—a Linux newbie —with tech speak. Spent afternoon trying to translate mornings conversations into plain English for her benefit.
14 December 2000
Woke to news that ‘Mr. Charisma’ has conceeded the presidential race to the redneck, twenty crocodiles have died on a farm in Kerala, and that local popstar Rishi Prasad (who?) considers his main rivals to be Michael Jackson and Elvis Presley. Typical day so far then.
Emids finish banglinux.com and start on its sister site for the Mumjava conference. Of course it’s not actually up yet because the UK still hasn’t sorted out the server. Three hours later Vijay remembers the site and tells Emids they haven’t finished yet. Emids not happy. Phone me. I phone Vijay. Vijay not happy. Now I not happy either. Over the sake of a **!$$! font. Eventually resolve situation with much bitter taste in mouth. It’s up to the UK now. As head cook, the broth is now with the servers.
15 December 2000
Nepotism in the UK, now also in Indian flavours as Frank, his wife and her sister now all work for Wrox India. Still only one new editor though —need to prioritize and John to fly out to Pune to try and rustle some up on Monday before we all leave on Wednesday for Xmas.
Document disasters aplenty. Frank’s article for wrox disappears in smoke thanks to a bug in gnotepad and the two chapters that have appeared for Pro Zope total ten pages in length. Only the session timetable for BangLinux seems to be in good nick—must be missing something then.
16 December 2000
Christmas shopping in Bangalore. Doesn’t feel right—too warm—but still very easy to blow lots of cash on pressies.
Go and see my first Hindi movie, so I’m expecting a whole lot of plot I can’t quite follow, songs appearing where they oughtn’t and general onscreen pathetitude. Not far wrong either.
17 December 2000
Woke in can’t-be-arsed mood and summarily failed to do anything I had planned for today. Dismissed suggestions to stay in India until next Christmas, watched Notting Hill (again) and slept.
18 December 2000
John in Pune, so as deputy cat in charge of the mice, finally get Manju to stop poking at Java and get him working on Zope and PHP instead. “But I’ll need to learn Linux first”. He really hasn’t even looked at them, has he? Set him on the Windows versions of both. Ha ha.
Reconfirm tickets for flight home to Brum. Discover with shock am returning home tomorrow and not in three days as originally thought. Thoughts of Xmas in India having missed flight descend followed by mild panic for need to pack.
WroxIndia Christmas dinner for everyone at the Shanthi (where else?).
19 December 2000
Had another trying time trying to explain that I am leaving for three weeks to Wani.
“I come tomorrow,sir”
“Actually no come tomorrow. I go home until January 6 today”
“January, sir?”
“Yes, January”
“So I come tomorrow, sir?”
Sigh.
Office quiet—calm before the storm of leaving. John makes it back from Pune before I leave. Took off, saw the smog over Bangalore for the first time since arriving. No wonder I didn’t get a tan.
20 December 2000
Bombay domestic terminal a lot easier to manage than the international —hawkers will go away if you tell them to. Inter-terminal bus does manage to stop at the exact opposite end of the terminal building to where I want to be however.
Discover laptop a great way to attract other English people around you to chat with for the three hours you’re sitting around. Just play film trailers and people will crane necks to see what you are playing. ;-)
Paris cold. Am trailed by guy on first plane trip wanting to know how to get to Leicester. Umm. Ahh. Err. Birmingham also cold, damp, wet, gray, they’ve changed the style of the ten pound note, there’s no heat in the house to which I only just remembered the alarm code in time to switch it off, I’ve developed a cold already, the washing up needs to be done, bed needs to be made, and most importantly, I need to buy some wrapping paper for the stuff I brought back.