3 September 2000

Caught up on the flicks. Snatch is certainly not in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrel’s class, but it has some nice moments. Meanwhile, if you’re not totally devoted to blockbusters and it gets released near you, check out Mike Figgis’ Timecode - definitely worth a look if you can get past the ‘possibly pretentious twaddle’ moniker I’ve heard it been given at times.

4 September 2000

Long bag of info from John today on what to bring and what not to wear. Nothing I hadn’t guessed. Flights confirmed at last meanwhile. Am Bangalore bound on 20 September. John appears to have left small case of all medicines, including malaria pills and anti-asthma stuff at Heathrow. A true Homer moment. Disappointed lack of Linux-based internet titles in back catalogue. Did search round Apache Foundation site though. Amazing quite how groovy some of this stuff is. Must revisit the Jetspeed engine when I get a chance. First NFL roundup of the season - Patriots lost <sigh>

5 September 2000

Woke up to George Bush Jr’s best faux pas of his campaign so far. Indeed a lesson for us all - always make sure the microphone is turned off before you call some bloke an f***ing asshole in front of 4000 people. John’s vanity case of pills now on its way and its place comes the warning to bring my own syringes to Bangalore. Apparently part of the registration process there is to have an AIDS test. Using the local hospital’s hardware is not advised, so... The nurse at the surgery took it reasonably well, I think. Will find out tomorrow I guess.

Also realised that drinking binge to celebrate leaving and Dev’s moving on is night before most important meeting at Wrox. God’s irony mode must be full on.

7 September 2000

Would seem that some in the UK are trying to copy the French, blockading oil refineries to get lower petrol prices (240% tax round here). Yawn.

9 September 2000

Scared other people all week with syringe tale. Friends from university came down for all round cool weekend. Received small bean bag caped crusader straight from Marks and Spencer as leaving pressie. Some people are just fantastic. Really nice meal and saw Snatch for the second time. Surprisingly better on the second watch.

10 September 2000

At a loose end, so volunteered to rewrite the Linux groups strategy document. Strange history associated with this. Last time it was being written, the entire way in which books are edited here was turned on its head, but we (the Linux team) blamed it on the spinach curry. This time round and once again something is afoot. What I’m not sure yet.

Went to Mongolian ‘Make your own gunge’ restaurant for quiet meal and came back to find car had been broken into with friends’ laptop and broken stereo nicked. With the fuel crisis going on, pleasantly surprised to find fuel had not been siphoned off as well. Fuel blockade causing panic buying at petrol stations in Brum. Driving back - all garages had queues of fifteen plus cars.

13 September 2000

Something’s going to happen to my little Linux group. Won’t know until tomorrow what exactly though. Amazing lack of moving cars on raods into work today. Quite a few closed garages too. Was given advance going away present of disposable camera for this evening and SAS Survival handbook so I’ll be able to find out which poisonous snake it was that bit me before I die.

Leaving do for me and Dev today. Looking forward to many cocktails

14 September 2000

Had many cocktails. Did’t realise Long Island Iced Teas had so many spirits in them. Danced to very tacky music. Woke up. Groaned. Slept again. Woke - no hangover.

Several bombshells in the same day - how much stuff can happen to the same guy? Will be working on books and BangLinux conference as well as magazine which takes a small backseat for time being. UK office also in reshuffle mode but in a sensible way. Learnt that three relatives\friends have died in the last two weeks along with my cousin’s cat who was put down having been suffering from feline AIDS. Lastly, shocking email from housemate saying she wants to leave the house.

Decide only course of action is to look forward to weekend and go back to sleep. Brother announced that he is working on CGI version of Transformers:The Movie. Groovy.

15 September 2000

Aftermath. Housemate not going after all - just did it to panic rest of us. These things I could do without. Last day of the Linux Editorial team though so a bit tearful. Quite a few people off to Las Vegas this weekend for our Webdev conference so won’t see them again for a while. Also last day of Big Brother UK. Big hoohah and teh favorite won. Olympics began. Laughed a lot as olympic torch appeared to malfunction at the end of the opening ceremony. Can imagine panic behind scenes as technicians wonder why system in runnign Windows and not Redhat or Mandrake.

16 September 2000

First day of last weekend. Refuse to pack just yet - too radical. Lots of films out this week but refuse to watch Shaft remake or Dancer in the Dark. Priorities y’know. Watched The Cell instead. Most disturbing film since Alien 3 I think. Most definitely a cult in the making. Parents have not phoned - unlike them. Am dreading Indian trips to the cinema. US films are two to three months behind and the alternatives are chipmunk-voiced musicals with cardigan-wearing Indian leads all on the tubby side.

Still, looks like Great Britain has won its first Olympic gold medal on the first day though, so all is not doom and gloom.

17 September 2000

New Coen brothers film is great. Fargo still fave but O Brother Where Art Thou? is definitely up there. Reluctant to end time in town and thus time with other half. Won’t see her until Christmas now. Sniff.

18 September 2000

If ever you need closure at some point in time, pack. Not just your clothes, but your CDs, Hi-fi, books, vids and everything else. With all your cupboards empty, there’s no denying that something is going to happen. Maybe I’ll realise I’m in India for the duration that bit quicker now. Nerves have certainly kicked in - appetite down and restlessness up. Save a few chores to do tomorrow, including picking up remaining tickets for internal connections in India to Bangalore, I’m pretty much ready. If I had any JD handy, I’d be drinking it.

19 September 2000

Finished packing at 1.30am and finally off at 5.00. Three stage trip Birmingham to Paris to Bombay to Bangalore. Stage one late off ground and seemed to land in Toulouse and then taxi to Paris. Just made stage two and forced to speak awful French with people sitting next to me. Landed in Bombay and got hawked by locals for 550 rupees (almost 10 pounds) in exchange for baggage. Three hour wait before stage 3. Fortunately John there to meet me. Flying ok - it just takes too long. Arrive at flat 6.30am local time the day after I arrive.

20 September 2000

Discover flat and surroundings. Most western style flat possibly in India. Bed still plank of wood with futon cover only. Forty plus light switches in the place, four spiders, a few mosquitoes and no cockroaches. Hey, not bad. Telephone constantly ringing as this is still the only point of contact for the Indian office at all. Voices on other end usually indecipherable and usually unable to accept that I’m neither John nor the landlord who also used to live here. Either that or they simply can’t hear me and hang up.

Natasha Golf View Apartments is pretty groovy. 5 blocks of flats, 4 around a quadrangle with swimming pool and community centre with gym, sauna, badminton court and snooker table. Also a couple of stores for quick supplies. You can’t browse though. Guy called Sunil just asks “What you want” and you have to know. Wouldn’t be too bad if it sold English food. Salt and pepper and green veg are roughly the same but that’s about it for foods. I know that I can buy Dal and Green Masala but have no idea what to do with them.

21 September 2000

Drove around Bangalore city to try and get a feel for the place. Patrick, our new driver, gave running commentary. Driving here rather like rally driving elsewhere. Apparently there are traffic laws and we do actually stop at traffic lights, but for the rest of the time a four lane road often sees seven cars abreast and pushbikes filling in any gaps. No vehicles have rear-view mirrors and every rear bumper tells you to sound your horn. And so everyone does. Have decided bravest people in Bang are the local police who stop and start the traffic around the ‘busier’ junctions of the city.

First local food. Idli kind of rice pattie with dipping sauces. Dosa weird kind of savoury fried pancake. Both good. Butter masala veg in yellow (presumably buttery) curry sauce.

Found lizard under fridge.

22 September 2000

Spent morning finding right department in right hospital for right blood tests for certificate of healthiness for registration at Indian Police Commissioners.

Bizarrely, there’s a TGI Fridays been opened in the same block as the office. Went in for lunch. Found out it’s not officially open except for training. Saw two beleaguered Americans who definitely knew what they were doing trying to teach everything (manners, cooking, waitressing, cocktail shaking and so on) to two dozen Indian staff who obviously didn’t. All windows there have posters of Rajkumar, the actor who got kidnapped, taped on them. Building next door got all windows smashed in last bundh (riot) so staff trying to prevent that in next one, inconveniently scheduled for same day as their opening. Food there weird Indian versions of westernised food. Potato skins and melted processed cheese. Mmmm.

24 September 2000

More food experiments. Tried to cook own food this evening with packet of mix and instructions. Ended up looking, tasting and smelling like acrid tar and road surfacing. Compare with last night at restaurant. Pani Puri starter - kind of crispy bubbles with dips (hint - never try the green), gobi manchoorian and chenna paneer for main with some tandoori roti (that’s freshly cooked flatbreads to us) to eat with them. Awesome food. Still disconcerting to be only white guy in restaurant and, as I realise during the meal, only person not using hands only to eat the food with. Waiter also couldn’t understand why I hadn’t ordered rice. Well nothing on the menu actually said ‘rice dish’.

Tried to catch lizard while out in open. Caught by its tail. Picked up by its tail. Lizard discards section of tail I’m holding, falls to floor and runs off back under fridge. I drop piece of still wiggling tail to floor and stare in horror. Removed it as fast as possible before it starts oozing onto floor and I gag too much.

25 September 2000

First day of work thanks to two days of hassle and reinstalling entire system with Windoze98 because Indian online ISPs don’t understand Win2k and I don’t understand Linux enough to do anything about it. Still, online with a vengeance and several pailfuls of mail. Still working from the spare room until office is ready though. John and Dilip really hassling people to the point where it might be ready in three weeks give or take.

26 September 2000

Email and stuff up and running, so it’s time for first day out and about with John. And he’s done this for five weeks already? Sheesh. Food mistake number 25 today. Went shopping in Foodworld - only Indian supermarket chain but basic equivalent of KwikSave (sigh). Still, you can browse and that’s good. Found large luminous pink pot of stuff. Instructions - add boiling water. Aha! Pot pasta or pot noodle. Can’t actually tell from description ‘Aloo Bhajia’. Ask Patrick and, lo and behold, I’ve just bought a bright pink packet of Smash. And I’m not even a fan of mashed potato.

First appointment at SK International in Koramangala about some computers. Learn first thing about finding places in Bangalore by address only. Some areas, like Domlur, use street names. Others, meanwhile, like Koramangala, have addresses like SKI - Block 5, Cross 4, Number 11. Now what may be the problem about that? Block are divided by main streets in one direction perpendicular to cross streets, in the same method as New York say. Except that the crosses and mains are not numbered consecutively. Patrick comes from Koramangala - neither he nor guy two streets from SKI knew where Cross 4 was. Found it by looking for largest pile of rubbish on corner of street and trying that one. Unsurprisingly, sod’s law worked.

Also met realtors of the new office. Office the most plush thing seen so far - so that’s where the money is in India, real estate. More large meals. Dal fry (lentils), Shanthi house special and Paneer Tikka and Lassi. Not the dog, the yoghurt drink.

27 September 2000

Day two of running around with John. Saw office for the last time as a hollow shell. Met electricians and decorators there to get them started. Bundh tomorrow - all worried.

Cockroach two inches long in cutlery draw. Lizard not doing its job then. Got poisonous bait instead for them.

John has new toy - a Royal Enfield Bullet Campus. A motorbike, for those of us who don’t care, that ceased production in the UK in the sixties but is still made here. And very cool too. Brand new, looks like should be worth three or four thousand. Nope, it’s India. 900 for the lot. Just have a look.

28 September 2000

Had to stay indoors today because of the bundh. Basically this is a state-wide (i.e. not just B’lore) protest to the fact that Dr. Rajkumar, an actor from these parts, is still in captivity in Tamil Nadu under the watch of notorious bandit, Veerappen. This wouldn’t happen in the west, but in Karnataka, Rajkumar is a minor deity and both his sons have been rabble rousing for his release before Dasara, a festival which starts tomorrow. Everything stops - there is no traffic, no shops are open and only Karnatic people should walk outside. Previous bundhs - this is the fourth - saw lots of stones being thrown through Tamil shopkeepers windows and general violence. Thankfully, that didn’t happen this time but Rajkumar ain’t out of the woods (literally) just yet. Will expect another bundh after Dasara.

Cockroaches taking the bait. Would appear that all roaches here have a knee jerk reaction to death. They all suddenly believe they are doing the backstroke and must wave legs in the air before they breathe their last. Very spooky.

29 September 2000

John’s new play toy up the spout. Leaking petrol. Oops

Spend five hours walking the fifteen minute stretch between the copshop and the nearest Xerox machine, because they can’t just be simple and tell me exactly what they need duplicates of all in one go. At least it’s a nice day. Met couple from Australia just starting the registration process. Apparently here for a six month course of acupressure. They’re ill and coming to India? Five or six trips through copshop registration and they’ll be feeling oh so fine....

Large queue in MG Road. Turns out Mission Impossible 2 opened today. Billboard poster is hand painted. Good likeness, but something’s wrong. Was Ving Rhames that prominent in the original?

Take rickshaw home. There are 60000 of these things on the streets of Bangalore with a turning circle of nothing. Basically, they’re a trike with a lawnmower engine strapped on and a canvas roof. Possibly the least safe thing on the road with a habit of conking out and being pushed along by other ricks that are passing by. Finally it rains, and how. Sheet rain that you can cut and a huge lightning storm to boot. Not the nicest evening then. Oh, and the rain cleans the sewers out a bit. ‘Charming’ smell in the aftermath

30 September 2000

Day four in the copshop and at the last minute they find something wrong. I have a business visa, but nowhere in my covering letter does it say I am here on business - just that I have come here to work for the Indian office. One does not equal the other, it would appear. Frustration city. Sony shop has lunch break between 2pm and 4pm. What do they do, siesta and play cards? Still no stereo then.

Come home, plan to go out and then it rains - hard - for six hours straight. You just can’t win some days. More miscellaneous photos here