Culture Shock Diaries Vol 1
Seemed like a good idea at the time - up shop from the UK and move for six months at least to Bangalore, India to start up a new magazine for Indian programmers called CodeIndia. Misadventures and life lessons in the style of Bill Bryson.
2 August 2000
Maybe I should just give up. It’s still three weeks before I leave for India and they can smell me coming. Yesterday, a film star got himself kidnapped on the Tamil Nadu – Karnataka border. Now if this were England or America I wouldn’t worry but it isn’t. The guy has been kidnapped by a perpetual criminal called Veerappan who is apparently some sort to Robin Hood figure to the locals. So they should just sort it out with the police getting no help from the populace? Well yes, but it would seem that film stars are almost...
3 September 2000
Caught up on the flicks. Snatch is certainly not in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrel’s class, but it has some nice moments. Meanwhile, if you’re not totally devoted to blockbusters and it gets released near you, check out Mike Figgis’ Timecode - definitely worth a look if you can get past the ‘possibly pretentious twaddle’ moniker I’ve heard it been given at times.
4 September 2000
Long bag of info from John today on what to bring and what not to wear. Nothing I hadn’t guessed. Flights confirmed at last meanwhile. Am Bangalore bound on 20 September....
1 October 2000
Gave Wani day off and had blissful lie in until 8.30. Arrived at office at 9 for workers to appear. Left door at 10.30 in disgust with no-one showing, and door still open. If their tools get nicked it’s their own fault.
Bought Indian recipe book couple of days earlier and armed with ingredient list, approached Sunil’s with all the confidence of knowing exactly what I want. Still no beer, but found another useful food name. Jeera is codeword for cumin seeds. Always one thing not available. In my case, its curry leaves.
Tried other Sony store...
1 November 2000
IT.com finally here. Stall up and looks a treat from front and
back.
Giant book made it too. Public not allowed in before 4pm, so quiet during the mornings
but as suspected, Joe Q. Volunteers ready and willing.
Public shows up with some classic enquiries that they really should be hit for. Take
for example, a fourteen or...
1 December 2000
Morning at home working in peace rapidly spoilt by everyone else in the office locking themselves out of the office and me with the only other keys. Oh, and the mail is down again.
Late night and 250 mini suns appear outside the window. The daughter of the flat one floor above next door is getting married and there’s now a waterfall of christmas lights flowing down to the ground from their balcony. Don’t know how they’re managing next door - it’s like trying to sleep next to a funfair which doesn’t shut down after 10pm.
2...
6 January 2001
Left UK to the sounds of snoring and me swearing at stepping on the smashed glass in the floor on at 3 in the morning. Evaded Bombay hawkers by exiting international terminal the other side of the building and running under cover of luggage trolley to the free bus. Arrived Bangalore 24 hours after I left house.
Not much changed since December. Same junk on table, same lack of anything vaguely edible in the fridge. Same cleaner knocking on the door at 8.00am. Managed a smile from her (finally, after three months) by telling her not to come...
1 February 2001
Small body of water sitting in the bathroom indicates pipe under sink has bought a little pet hole which is doing its favorite thing - leaking. Plumber comes and diagnoses hole. Oh well done. New pipe tomorrow. Meantime, no shower or washwater.
Make unanimous decision to disconnect firewall from now totally cut off local network. Suprisingly easy considering the amount of fuss they took to install it. Ironically, our ISP’s mailserver is genuinely down for maintenance. Spend rest of day fixing other problems around office—missing mail, several virusy things and so on.
Am rather surprised to see...
1 March 2001
Office is abuzz with four days before BangLinux begins. Registrations have been pouring in which is good but I forgot to tell the foreign speakers that you need a visa to enter India which is bad. Some—Damien Conway, Rasmus Lerdorf —were quick enough to spot this and sort it out. Yay. Some were not and assumed they didn’t need one. Boo. Visas usually take a week to sort out. We now have two days.
Welcoming me back to Bangalore, John gives me a friendly slap on the shoulder. Sorry - ex-shoulder, now huge heat blister. I scream...
Lou's Poem
I got written this poem by my other half of the time and so it got put up for her birthday. If you don't like it, go read the diary and don't complain
Don't be a mourner:
There's Indian fauna,
Cockroaches, a sauna and rain.
From meat you abstain,
Get crushed on the trains,
And avoid all aqueous fruit.
Now and then when it suits
(They don't give a hoot)
Holy cows fall asleep in the street.
John's bike is quite neat...
But you still use your feet
(Although you've swapped trainers for sandals).
You eat dinner by candles,
The mosquitos are vandals,
And a lizard lives under your fridge.
I...
One Canon DC215 Digital Camera in hand and a whole city of miscellaneous oddities to see. Wanna see a horse laying apparently dead in the middle of the street so everyone must drive around it, only to get up because it has finished its nap? Or the various hues of cow that the populace paints them for the various festivals? Patience—you’ll get there sooner or later. Meantime, here’s the ones that are half good.
IT.COM
Construction of IT.com hangers. The Maharaja's Palace itself, the linux pavilion to be, and ones they made earlier.
...